Fearful to Fearless - Esther

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”                            Romans 8:28

Esther had many reasons to fear:

·         She was an orphan. We don’t know for sure, but its likely that her parents died when she was a young child. As a young woman, she has an established relationship with her cousin, Mordecai, who took her in when her parents died. While I don’t personally understand the innate fear that a young child would develop by losing her main stability, her parents, at a young age, I imagine that she was always on her seat, waiting for tragedy to strike again. Perhaps she herself had a “deathly” fear of death. Perhaps she constantly feared that Mordecai would be taken, too. Perhaps she feared being alone, because of the pain of being alone when her parents were taken by death. Being an orphan creates a set of fears that were probably her constant companions. (Es. 2:7)

Fear of death. Fear of tragedy. Fear of being alone.

·         As a young woman, Esther was called to the palace by the king, who would replace his queen. I imagine this was not the fairy tale that my 7 year old might think it to be. She was taken from her one stability, a replacement stability at that, and brought, alone, to a foreign place, the palace, where she had never before been. What would happen there? Who would take care of her? Would they be kind or harsh? Beauty treatments? What did that mean to a plain, orphan Jewish girl? (Es. 2:8)

Fear of the unknown, Fear of strangers.

·         God took care of Esther in the palace. She won the favor of the main eunuch in charge of the harem, who taught her all she needed to know to win the favor of the king (whatever scandalous things that might’ve entailed…). But then her turn came to go the king. This was not a simple get-dressed-up-pretty-and-parade-around-in-front-of-the-king moment. This was not simply a beauty pageant. This was a try-out. She was taken to the king in the evening, and returned in the morning. The king would use his eyes, his hands, his body, to try out his prospective new queen. Now, I knew my husband for five years before I married him. We dated for 2 years of that time, and were engaged for 10 LONG months. There was no question in my mind that I wanted to sleep with this handsome young man. It took all the self-control I had not to. Then came our wedding day. Then the drive away from the church to our honeymoon. For two people who are RARELY short on words, we barely had anything to say to each other. “Uh, that was a really nice wedding…” The truth was, we were terrified. Finally, we had God’s blessing to consummate our marriage, and we were both silent with fear. Naturally, we overcame our fear (J), but the irony of the moment is memorable. Esther knew she was called to be intimate with a king she had probably never met. He was the ruler of the Persian world, probably quite a great deal older than her, and she was a virgin. Imagine the fear she felt walking into the king’s residence. But here’s the other piece. It was terrifying to think of the “tryout” that would occur. However, if she was not chosen, another fear was looming: If Esther was NOT chosen by Xerxes, she would not be able to go back to her simple Jewish life with Mordecai. She would be discarded back into the harem like used goods. She would never have the option to marry, and likely never have children. The dream of a family that so many women have would likely never be realized. (Es. 2:15-16)

Fear of rejection, Fear of loss, Fear of unrealized dreams, Fear of men, Fear of strangers, Fear of intimacy.

·         Esther’s defining moment comes in Esther chapter 4. An evil man named Haman has plotted to annihilate all Jews in Persia because he hated one man, Mordecai, a Jew, who would not bow down to him. Mordecai sends word to Esther – who has now been queen for about 5 years – that if she doesn’t do something, she and her people will perish. Esther once again must face that old fear of death. A royal decree states that if she enters the king’s presence uninvited, she will be sentenced to death. The exception is, if the king extends to her his royal scepter, she will be spared, and instead invited to speak her request of the king. But this isn’t just fear of death. There is “trouble in paradise.” Esther’s husband, King Xerxes, has not called for her for 30 days. Their marriage isn’t what it used to be. For a man who once entertained a new virgin every night, it’s likely that he is visiting his harem, and not his wife, to be satisfied. Esther might have wondered if she has lost the favor that she won so decisively 5 long years ago. So with the backdrop of a troubled marriage, Esther has a choice: fulfill the plan that God has for her (“And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this?”), or risk dying a violent death along with her Jewish people. (Es. 4)

Fear of disapproval, Fear of rejection, Fear of death, Fear of inadequacy.

So what does Esther do???? I’ll give you a sneak peak into the story: She does go before the king. But how does she do it? How does she go from a woman plagued with fear from childhood to a FEARLESS queen who walks forward in her God-given destiny? Here’s how:

Esther faces her fear, head on. It says in Esther 4:16, the words of Esther, “If I perish, I perish.” Esther goes to the worst case scenario. For her, that is death. If her worst fear comes true, she will be executed, possibly on the spot, and violently. Yet, she goes forward. Why? Because she has decided to trust in God’s goodness.

Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Though Esther never knew Paul, or ever read his letters, she believed that God was trustworthy and good, even if she lost her life trying to save her people. Here is where the skill of becoming FEARLESS is the most evident. I call it the “Esther model.” When you are afraid, figure out what you are truly afraid of. Then go to your worst case scenario, as Esther did when she said, “If I perish, I perish.” In that worst case scenario, ask yourself, “Do I trust that God is good enough even if the worst thing happens?”

For example, you are afraid of conflict. A situation arises in which you have reason to become angry with someone because they hurt you. You are afraid to confront them. Why? Perhaps you are afraid they will reject you: Fear of rejection. Or that they will withdraw their love from you: Fear of abandonment. Decide that if they do reject you or withdraw their love from you, is God still good enough to meet your needs?

But it wasn’t just enough for Esther to face her fear of the worst case scenario. She also prayed and fasted that God would work out the best case scenario. Esther asks Mordecai and the other Jews to fast and pray for her for three days (Es. 4:16). She and her maids joined them in the fast. And it was an extreme fast: they abstained from food and water for three days. In Joel 2:12-17, the prophet Joel is encouraging the people to return to their God with fasting and weeping and mourning so that God might spare his people. The Jews have already wept and mourned in sackcloth and ashes (Es. 4:3). Now they are fasting and praying, and returning to the Lord their God to cry out for their redemption.  Now it’s time not to tear their garments, but instead their hearts (Joel 2:13).

Esther was probably still afraid when she walked into the king’s residence. The first words the king says to her are, “What is it, Queen Esther?” (Es. 5:3). This language, “What is it?” is the same phrase used elsewhere in the Bible (Gen. 21:17 and Ps 114:5) and can also be translated, “What troubles you?” King Xerxes probably saw the fear all over her face. When we walk forward in faith, it doesn’t mean that will we have completely conquered fear before we move. Often we move in spite of our fear. Esther decided to step into that courtyard, even though she was shaking in her glass slippers. Don’t expect to not feel fear when you move forward in faith. Move forward trusting in God’s goodness even if your emotions haven’t caught up yet. But perhaps as you move forward again and again, the emotions and the bravery will catch up quicker, and it will be easier and easier to move forward in faith because you have seen God move and answer your prayer, and bring goodness out of fear.

Perhaps God allows us to enter into situations that cause us to fear so that we can be reminded of His goodness. It builds our faith when we step forward in faith, then see God work in amazing ways. We can see God’s goodness sometimes in dramatic ways.

Esther saw God work in dramatic ways. Her best case scenario worked out. God heard her prayers. The king did not execute her. He extended his favor, and his golden scepter, to her when she entered his presence. Queen Esther invited her king to a banquet along with Haman, as well as a second banquet, and there revealed to Xerxes Haman’s plan to murder her and her family. In the meantime God revealed to Xerxes the man of honor that Mordecai really was. Also, Haman was shamed, and eventually hung on the very same gallows that he built to hang Mordecai. Haman was executed, Mordecai was promoted, and the Jewish people were saved. God worked out all things for good for Esther who was called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

How could God use you when you step forward in faith, despite your fear?

Esther faced her fear in the worst case scenario, prayed for the best case scenario, and God worked. God proved himself GOOD and TRUSTWORTHY. He rescued His people, who returned to Him in the process. Esther went from FEARFUL to FEARLESS. She transitioned from self-preservation to brave determination.  She was an orphan girl who became a hero queen.